thisisalex | (no subject)

Entry tags:

i wanna talk about memes

(no subject)

The main reason I want to do this meme is because it's in all caps.

GIVE ME THE NAME OF ONE OF MY CHARACTERS (PAST, PRESENT OR PSL!), AND I WILL TELL YOU THREE REASONS WHY IT WOULD BE TERRIBLE TO DATE THEM, HAVE SEX WITH THEM, AND/OR BE IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.

Also I have been out of it as fuck these last couple days and I've been trying to keep up but lol I don't organize my life, so if I seem to have forgotten about a thing I said I'd do or a log we're in, EMAIL ME A REMINDER PLS. BE BOLD. DON'T LET ME FORGET ABOUT YOU.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

CASH MONEY.

WHEN I SAW YOUR JOURNAL NAME I WAS WORRIED YOU WERE GOING TO ASK FOR DOGEY but ca$h I can do no prob bob, no one should ever put up with him.

SEX: Well for one he's got terrible hygiene. Dude, take a shower. For two, he's a selfish cunt and isn't actually all that aware that it might take more than the bare minimum amount of effort for the girl to finish. Like, if you want something out of this interaction, yoooou're gonna need to take lead on that.

DATING: The hygiene thing is going to be an issue for anyone intimately involved in Cash's life, he doesn't feel like making time to shower. So he's gonna be dirty on a date. And also, he ain't fancy. He'll take your ass to McDonald's and call it romance. Which is probably okay, because he'll embarrass the hell out of anyone with any decorum in a fancier setting. He's going to bust out his flask at some point, you can BET YOUR ASS he'll be chain smoking the entire time, and do not try to clean up his language or he will start calling literally everyone a cunt.

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP: Cash is an officer of the law, a big badass hero, and he will not be even the least bit protective of his lady. Like, he is SUPER GOOD at turning off his emotions in the field, so if he and Kirsty are out in some big bad battle and she's about to get ganked, he'll still do a cost-benefit analysis real quick to see if it's worth throwing himself on that grenade. But it's not just in the field, because he's like if someone was insulting his lady he'd just be like "lol this is fun to watch KICK HIS ASS SEA BASS." He fights no one's battles for them.

HE'S ALSO JUST AN EMOTIONAL FUCKING DIPSHIT. He and Kirsty have been in a relationship with each other for like 7 years and I really highly doubt he has even told her he loves her. They LIVE together and he won't even hold hands because he just won't acknowledge emotions. Like, that last Casty log we did was LITERALLY THE FLUFFIEST THEY HAVE EVER BEEN. And Emma and I have gotten them married with kids and everything. Apparently I just had to MURDER HIS FAMILY TO MAKE HIM ACT MILDLY NICE AND PUT HIS HAND ON HER LEG.

Also he's not terribly loyal. Like, he will always put work before someone else, and if that someone else is doing something that makes him look shitty professionally then LOL FUCK YOU, NOT HIS PROBLEM. Because. I think Cash might be a sociopath.

Kirsty would like to say that yes, he takes showers even if she has to lure him into them with whiskey in the shower. There is no need for him to try and save her she can save her own goddamn ass and if she can't it's so totally her fault because she rushed in a Leroy Jenkins herself in. Which, honestly, is totally what she does. Also like pretty much everything else in their relationship you know Kirsty takes full charge of everything. Just cause...well...she knows him. If he ever, ever, told her he loved her, she would immediately think he was a fake cash. Like no way in fucking hell is that her cash. Which would be kinda funny. Just saying.

Also wtf they totally forehead kisses at that party and they have NEVER done that before. I'm still scared of fluffy Casty and yet am totally into this shit. WHAT HAS HAPPENED?

She so got him into a shower before the funeral. Basically, Kirsty is the only one that even WANTS to deal with him. Her stubborn fucker Foot. Okay. Bye. I'm sleepy.

she laid a trap for him. like a trail of tiny airplane whiskey bottles leading to a bottle of maker's mark in the shower. then she like locks him in the shower and turns the water on like FUCK YOU FUCKER, IF I CAN'T WEAR MY TINY DRESS THEN YOU CAN'T BE GROSS.

and, like, i think the fluffiest they ever got before was that abandoned thread you found where we were like drunk or high as fuck and i think cash put his arm around her and was like K LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE. that was them married. that was them after two kids. what to heck.

PRETTY MUCH. She tricks him more than once a week because she's just like shit man don't be totally dirty you can't be present day Norman already.

Look, they are slowly getting fluffy in a Casty way which from the outside looks nothing at all fluffy. But their fluffy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only