thisisalex | (no subject)

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alex plays her pets

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goosemods

Lol I went back and forth ALL DAY YESTERDAY on whether or not I wanted to play a school game, because I am old and crotchety and sometimes I just want to shove kids off their skateboards what is wrong with me, but then I joked about ripping off another pet personality and then I did it.

So Nathaniel Bird (tentative journal

flyover) is a neurotic redneck genius, like the blue heeler I used to have, because not only are my pets the absolute best but I am VERY PROTECTIVE of my hicks. Ebonhide, senior, dairy farmer. He is probably trying to do something to combine magic with ~sustainable agriculture~ but I get BORING AF when I talk about ag (hey guys who wants to talk about reforming farm subsidies and federally regulating milk prices? NOT ME, THAT’S FOR DAMN SURE.) so I’m not even going to get into that rn.

I kind of wanted him to be a coastal redneck (like me ok stfu) but then I picked the journal ~flyover because HIS LAST NAME IS BIRD? but now he kind of has to be from a flyover state, so he’s from…somewhere. idk man there is a shitload of farmland in the middle of this country to choose from.

But now my next big problem is PB. Not only do I not know all of these little tiny baby children under 25, but young redneck PBs are QUITE HARD to find boo hiss. Esp bc I don't want cowboy, so not a bunch of cowboy hats and jingling spurs. When he's home he's more likely to be working on an engine or out in the field moving irrigation than playing rodeo games. The frontrunner rn is Baylor Barnes who wears woodland camo and goes hunting and that is very important, but there is also a problem in that I kind of want to punch his face. Tbf though I think I’m going to want to punch the faces of many of these PBs (bc I am a grumpy old lady who crochets and theorizes about what’s wrong with these damn millennials) so you know whatever. NEW FAVE: Josh Hutcherson in Unnecessary Remake the movie.

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That was MY biggest hangup on the game, too. But it's so well put together that I just couldn't resist?

I'll be playing Cressida, who's the prefect opposite him in their house and year! She's at

moodrings, and basically she's a rehashed Odette, for whatever THAT TELLS YOU.

No one jumps out at me to recommend pb-wise, but I'll keep an eye out for you!

THERE ARE ALSO LOTS OF AWESOME PEOPLE GOING THERE so there's that to drag me in.

Yessss prefects together. I want to know what their dynamic is like. Country bumpkin and the rich bitch? This sounds like a buddy cop team up from the 70s.

TY BB. I'm digging through horror movies rn in the hopes one of the "teenagers" they cast looks right. I'm probably going to have to pirate some REALLY SHITTY movies, I'm looking forward to it.

YEAH THAT IS ALSO A PRETTY HARD TO RESIST FACTOR.

it is either going to be the best or worst thing. WHEN SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, if she confiscates any weed or alcohol, she gives it to her stepbrother to sell/use for profit $$$$. Otherwise, she tries hard to maintain a sort of :) :) look at me i am a person you can talk to tee hee KIND OF DEMEANOR.

One of the dudes from Stranger Things might work? But also maybe not. IDK HIS IS A HARD STEREOTYPE TO FIT.

I am also old and crotchety and if I did school games, I'd do this one, but I have consistently failed with them.

Yeah I'm p sure the last time I survived at a school game was when I was still in high school, so IT'S BEEN A MINUTE. Playing a country kid is my excuse for not being up on the slang and cool kid activities.

That's a good way of approaching it. I just don't think I have it in me to play teenagers. As an Old (tm), I just can't get excited enough about things any more to simulate it.

Yeah, I haven't played a high school age game since I was in high school. I'm having war flashbacks thinking about classrooms. I DON'T EVEN PLAY COLLEGE KIDS EXCEPT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON. I AM PAST THAT. I HAVE MOVED ON FROM THAT LIFE. I HATED SCHOOL, WHY WOULD I PLAY A STUDENT?

And yet here I am bc this game looks so gooooood.

josh doesn't dress like it, but his facial and body structure looks country af. I'M ALLOWED TO STEREOTYPE BC I AM A BORN AND RAISED SOUTHENER WHO HAS NEVER LEFT THE SOUTH. but yeah, he's totally got the thick neck which is usually indicative of a football player or someone who does manual labor. i swear, country boys have two body types: tall and stringy or short and stocky.

STEREOTYPE AWAY, THIS IS P ACCURATE. Like I knew one super tiny hick boy who was like 5' 100 lbs soaking wet, but he wasn't actually a farm boy so he never bucked a bale of hay in his life and just liked the ~aesthetic.

And Josh is from Kentucky, he country. IT'S IN YOUR BLOOD JOSHY, ACCEPT IT. And if I can make Bo Burnham into a jock I can find the right amount of country pics for redneck Peeta.

I always assumed the string beans work the farm equipment and the thick ones do the heavy lifting. but you know they work on the fields because they got dat farmer's tan #aesthetic

LMAO I JUST GOOGLED AND HE'S 5'7

LMAO YES HE IS A TINY LITTLE'UN.

Which actually that's the same height as my senior prom date who is a fairy farmer and stringier than JHutch so don't worry he can still do the job.

Rlurlhdlhhc DAIRY FARMER FOR FUCK'S SAKE

That was the worst Freudian slip ever bc said prom date is actually hella gay

i was sitting here mulling over fairy farmers and how strenuous that work is

I mean you gotta catch the bitches and I assume humanely slaughter them and harvest the spoils. That seems like a decent bit if work really.

HIGH FIVE, BORN AND BRED SOUTHERNERS!

Though I did go to California so I could throw Alex's husband on the ground.

i had to talk to your mother and promise her i wasn't going to let anything bad happen to you and then you LAUGHED AS YOU DROPPED HIM

tho tbf so was i

Oh, I forgot, I went to Hawaii for a few days and had a connection flight to Chicago.

BUT STILL.

HIGH FIVE

my pb did an awkward interview with your pb

he calls jlaw "senpai" and she doesn't get it

That's a lot of work for very little meat.

RIGHT, this is why it takes a very specific sort of farmer.

I WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM, EVEN AS I LAUGHED. EMMA DID NOTHING.

We've made brief escapes. But mostly I stay in the land where you can ask for sweet tea in restaurants and they get it,

Ok but

You're the one who suggested it to the photographer

I WAS NOT?

I think it was Elysia? Maybe?

WHAT NO, I'VE BEEN SURE IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME. Like tbf I was standing a little ways away, I just thought the photographer was like, "Ok Alex how do you feel about being held by the guys?" and I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU WHO SAID, "Can we hold Spencer??"

Like that does seem like something elysia would suggest, except elysia has no upper body strength, why did she think she could hold a person

I would not swear to it 100%, but I am pretty sure it was someone else who was like, "IF THE GUYS GET TO DO IT, LET'S DO ONE TOO." And I was thinking, "Mkay but there is one less of us than the guys? I mean, I guess it's fine bc Spencer is skinny." I mean maybe I just have dual personalities that argue with each other than I'm unaware of.

I mean, we could just blame Emma.

she didn't even try and save him

She just let him fall

I'm pretty sure it wasn't fully me but there is the possibility that Spencer and I did one of those quiet eye meeting things where we both decided it at the same time and went...oh yeah we are doing this. A lot like the wet seal conversation.

I have the baby arms, why would I have come up with that? We know I have t-Rex arms we aren't good at holding things and there is no way the boy would have signed off on me holding anything, I'm surprised he was like yeah she can hold flowers.

Also I just read this about a year later, so hi.

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